Panama to Provence?  How Listening to My Gut Led Me to France

Why did I come to France?

More specifically, how did I end up making the leap from Panama to France? They’re not exactly next-door neighbors. I asked myself this question over and over before finally deciding, and the answer always came down to one thing: My Gut. I couldn’t explain it at first, but the more I tuned in, the clearer it became.

The Calling in Costa Rica

It all started in Costa Rica. I was immersed in daily meditation, deepening my yoga practice, breathwork, and spiritual healing. My days were filled with thought-provoking conversations with the incredible women I met, and somewhere in that space of stillness, I started receiving messages—downloads, as some call them. Sometimes they were vague, but other times, they were crystal clear. And one day, in meditation, I heard it: “Go to France.”

Of course, I asked, “Why?” The answer? “For love.” I literally laughed out loud. It was so cliché that I couldn’t take it seriously. At breakfast, I shared the story with my friends, and we all laughed about it. But the message stayed with me.

Learning to trust my intuition while traveling

A Shift in Panama

After Costa Rica, I took a break in Panama with my best friend from college. It was a true vacation—piña coladas, lobster dinners, swims in the turquoise Caribbean. For a week, I lived fully in the present. But once my friend left, I was alone in Panama City with one big question: What’s next?

Vacation with my bestie! Life-changing experiences with friends mean so much to me.

For three months in Costa Rica, everything had been structured—my days, my meals, even where I’d lay my head at night. Now, I had to think about all of it again, and it felt overwhelming and stressful. It made sense to stay in Central America or maybe dip my toes into South America.  I mean, Columbia was right there.  And I loved the idea of picking up another yoga trade gig. Teaching in exchange for food and lodging is a dream—something stable while doing what I love. But no opportunities were lining up.

Instead, I found myself bouncing between hotels in Panama City, extending reservations every few days because I couldn’t find a long-term stay I could afford. The constant moving around drained me. I craved stability, a plan, and a sense of direction.

A few places I landed at in Panama City. The last one I stayed the longest because it was cheapest.

But I just couldn’t shake it – every time I looked at a new destination—whether in Panama, Colombia, or elsewhere—my gut response was a resounding “Meh.”  They are beautiful places, of course, but I felt no pull toward them in the present moment.

A Sudden Realization

France, however, kept whispering to me. 

Then it hit me—I didn’t have to go to Paris. France is a big country. What were my priorities?  Warmth and water. So I started searching Airbnb’s and found a month-long stay in Marseille for just $30 a night—an entire apartment in the heart of the Old Town. The excitement in my body was undeniable. I barely slept that night. But was that too crazy? Panama to France?

One day later, I had a booked flight. 

Nerves? Yes. But deep down, I knew I was supposed to go.

The moment I arrived, I felt it: I was home. The French language surrounded me, the streets of my neighborhood felt right, my apartment was cozy, the food was divine. Even the stereotypical French brusqueness felt oddly perfect.

And then, the signs started showing up.

My new home…Life in Marseille.

The Viola Magic

For those unfamiliar with my story, violas are my personal sign from the Universe that I’m on the right path. They don’t appear often, which makes their presence all the more powerful. And suddenly, they were everywhere.

One day, I stumbled upon a crowd exiting a theater. I checked the marquee: the Marseille Philharmonic Orchestra had just performed a concert featuring a solo violist. A soloist! This never happens. I stood there, stunned, my mouth wide open. Of course, I had missed the concert, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that it existed at all. The Universe was winking at me.

Concerto pour alto = Concerto for Viola

The next day, I watched a Netflix show, and out of nowhere, a character referenced violas. The day after that, I looked up local concerts and saw an upcoming performance featuring a flautist, a pianist, and—yes—a violist. Unheard of. It ended up being canceled, but the sheer coincidence was enough for me.

And then, one more for good measure: I was in the MUCEM gift shop with a friend when I picked up a beautifully designed purple journal. I flipped it over, and on the back cover, one word stood alone: “Viola.” My friend, who had just heard all my viola stories, looked at me and said, “Obviously, you are supposed to be in Marseille. This is your city.”

The Universe Speaks—Are You Listening?

I knew before I arrived that I was meant to be here. And if you get nothing else from this blog post, I hope you can at least begin to understand how important it is to listen to yourself.  Nobody knows you better than you.  Why question it?  Just listen.  The Universe is speaking through you and all you have to do is listen.

Two weeks into my time here, I’m nowhere near ready to leave. Something magical is unfolding, and while my next step is already lined up, I will be back. Marseille feels like home. I feel grounded, aligned, at peace.

And more than anything, I feel soft. That was the word that came to me when I tried to describe it to a friend. She was surprised—soft? Yes. Soft, warm, malleable. Like I am no longer resisting what’s meant for me. Like I am finally surrendering to the shifts that have been bubbling beneath the surface for so long.

Fully Leaning In

I am finally understanding what truly matters to me at this stage of my life. And more importantly, I am willing to let go of what doesn’t serve me anymore to make space for what does.

A softness has taken over me that no longer feels the need to fight myself. It’s a deep, calming sensation—the peace that comes with knowing who you are, what works for you, and allowing yourself to fully step into it. It’s a game changer, and I’m quite certain that’s why I needed to come here. I thought I was just here for a change of scenery and to practice my French (and also maybe the wine 😉). Turns out, it is so much more beautiful than that.  

Perhaps I did come here for love—just not the kind I originally imagined. Not romantic, movie-script love, but a deep, unwavering self-love. The kind we rarely allow ourselves in the chaos of everyday life. A love that feels nourishing, whole, and entirely my own.

There is a profound shift happening within me, one that Costa Rica likely prepared me for. And I am 100% here for it.

I am awake. I am alive. And I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this exact moment.

“J’accepte la grande aventure d’être moi.” – Simone de Beauvoir

Living in France as a solo female traveler…