Mexico vs. Southeast Asia

HOLA!  I am back!  The adventures of Robyn continue…I landed in Puerto Vallarta almost two weeks ago now, and if I’m being totally honest, the transition has not been all smooth sailing.  

I didn’t realize how accustomed I had become to Southeast Asia.  And once more, I am surprised by how hard change really is and how we are all such creatures of habit and familiarity.  

At first, when I arrived, I was just so happy to be back on the road again.  The new sights, sounds, and smells filled me with so much joy and anticipation.  The sight of the ocean and the beach, though maybe not as beautiful as Southeast Asia, still made my heart soar.  I felt alive and ready to begin this new journey!

But then a few days went by and things changed.  Well, nothing really changed around me.  My environment was the same, but my head was changing.  Suddenly, I had all of these feelings of longing and solitude.  I felt desperate for the familiarity that I knew in Asia.  Where were my cute little beach bars where I could belly up for the day and work, eat, transition into happy hour, and be almost totally alone on my own private beach?  Where was the community of yogis and spiritual counterparts that I felt so attracted and connected to overseas?  Where were all the other digital nomads and people my age that I could relate to?  Where did I belong here?  I was missing something and it was wearing on me everyday……It just wasn’t the same!

My most recent memories of Southeast Asia…

There have been some seriously dark days here so far because of these self-sabotaging thoughts.  Some days I wouldn’t even leave my Airbnb until after dark because – what was the point?  There was nothing out there that I wanted.  Thank God I needed to eat –  I have been forced to go out for food, and luckily, Mexican is my favorite, but even some of the food I was sampling was leaving me disappointed…Was it possible I was just choosing all the wrong places? Why haven’t I been enjoying this more??

I have been so confused!  I had such high hopes for Mexico and I have heard such amazing things about the culture, the people, the food, the history – everything – from so many other fellow travelers.  I MUST be doing it wrong.  But still, these feelings of unhappiness and discomfort have lingered day after day after day.  I even got on Bumble (for the first time) to see if it was just your everyday run of the mill romantic loneliness, but that wasn’t filling any voids either.  In fact, someone that I had started talking to even noticed a change in me.  When we were talking one day, he was like, “You seem off…”. And he doesn’t even really know me!  

Something had to give.  My mindset was killing me.  I was literally thinking about asking my AirBnB host if he would issue me a partial refund if I left early.  I thought about heading up the coast to a smaller beach town.  I thought about going back to Southeast Asia (multiple times!).  And – gasp! – I even thought about going home.  That was a first.  That is when I knew it was serious.

So let’s take stock here for a minute, shall we?  I’ve been here for only 12 days and all of this is rolling through my head on a regular basis.  This is A LOT of negative to be contemplating on a daily basis in a new country.  No wonder I have been a bit in despair.  And then it hit me – this happened to me last year when I arrived in Taiwan too…Maybe some of you remember that post?  I seriously struggled my first month in Taiwan.  I really thought that I didn’t like it and that I just didn’t fit in there, but in retrospect, I think I am beginning to see what was really happening…

Taiwan wasn’t like the Southeast Asia that I had become accustomed to with all the  cool things that I love about it aforementioned above.  And Mexico isn’t like that either.  But that doesn’t mean that it is not amazing and doesn’t have incredible things to offer.  It is just different.  And different is not necessarily bad.  I woke up this morning with a new outlook.  “I am in freaking Mexico!”, I said to myself.  There have been multiple times in my life when I used to dream about running away and living in Mexico.  Now I am here doing it and I am sulking about it?  This is ridiculous!  Time to put my big girl pants on and accept that it is different than what I am used to, but maybe that is for the best?  Do I really want every place I go to be exactly the same?  Isn’t that the exact point of travel?  To see and experience new things?  

It may be different, but it’s still pretty great…Images from my new “home” in Puerto Vallarta

And therefore, I feel as if I have come full circle and am a walking advertisement for “change is hard, but change is good.”  Man, it is hard.  But also – it is SO good.  I am not giving up here.  As I write this, I just had the best chilaquiles of my life in an authentic Mexican kitchen – delicious!  (And side note – I am never having anything else for breakfast as long as I am here…the chilaquiles are SO good. There will for sure be a blog about them in my future 😉).  In addition, I got back to basics and looked up some great bloggers in the area who have helped me to outline some great beach spots, cafes, bars, and restaurants that I am going to try out this week (shout out to Lora Pope!  I don’t know you, but it appears that you are some kind of digital nomad royalty here…keep it coming!  Your advice and recommendations have been spot on!).  

So I guess the point of this story, as cliché as it is, is don’t ever give up.  I almost did.  And I have a feeling I am going to look back on this in a week or so and realize how silly I was and how much I would have missed out on.  Yes – I said it before and I will say it again – CHANGE IS HARD.  There’s a reason nobody wants to do it.  Those feelings of discomfort can be so strong that it will challenge you to your core.  But that is where the real change begins to happen within you.  When you realize that you are stronger than you thought you were, when you realize that you got this, and when you realize that challenging yourself is making you a better person all around.  You have to try; because you don’t know what kind of beauty you might be missing at the end of a long and challenging road.  I’m still not sure what lies ahead for me, but I’m looking forward with open eyes, an open mind, and an open heart.  

Bring it on, Mexico!  I’m ready for you. 🇲🇽