Rolling With The Punches

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

This goes for cows too. This gal sauntered right up to my spot on the beach and laid herself right down on my towel. In response, I got into cow pose to make friends. 😊. What else are you going to do?

After being in India, Sri Lanka, and Nepal for five months straight, I didn’t realize how much I had gotten used to a different way of life.  It’s not that I forgot that I was in third world countries, but over time, you do get used to a new lifestyle.

For example, I would never be caught without toilet paper/kleenex in my purse.  I am never without hand sanitizer.  I gave up on my nails a long time ago. There’s no gel polish out here and the regular polish that they do have is usually a few years old and goes on thick and gluey.  People don’t wait in lines here; they just form groups and will push and shove their way forward. I hated this at first (and still do), but again, somehow I became accustomed to it.  Trash is everywhere.  Of course I saw it, and thought sadly to myself how awful it was, but again, short of picking up every single piece everywhere you go, you start to get used to it and don’t see it as much anymore as you walk around.  Cow shit.  It is literally everywhere in India and Nepal.  You get used to watching your step and walking around it.  Squat toilets. I can’t even begin to tell you how many squat toilets I’ve used and how used to it I guess I became. Every time I go to the bathroom now I am amazed at the cleanliness!  With sinks!  And running water!  And toilet seats!  And if there is paper towel to dry your hands with, truly, I almost fall over I am so in shock.  Basic, BASIC accommodations.  Of course, I am on a budget, but there is a big difference between a $20 room in India and a $20 room at the airport in Bangkok.  I couldn’t believe how clean the Bangkok airport room was!  And all decked out in white!  With fluffy towels!  And a place to hang the towels!  I mean, I was in absolute awe.  And then I found myself laughing at myself.  I mean, c’mon, this wasn’t that foreign to me. And yet, somehow it was.

(A random selection of toilets, bedrooms, and bathrooms for your viewing pleasure… Please note – I am not in the habit of taking pictures of squat toilets…it’s best to just get in and out…but there is one particularly rustic one here that the boys took on my Mt. Everest trip and felt the need to send to me… 😉. You’re welcome.)

(I was invited into the home of some lovely locals in Dharamshala, India…this is their beautiful daughter posing in their one-bedroom house. I am sitting on the floor in the kitchen taking the photo. This is how most people are still living over there – just to put it all into perspective).

Overall, I am pretty good at rolling with the punches and I like to immerse myself in new cultures, but I didn’t realize how much I had just accepted a new way of life.  I guess I didn’t really think about it after a while.  You just do what you have to do, and ultimately, I didn’t feel like I was sacrificing that much.  Maybe because it happened slowly, over time?  Or because there really aren’t any other options so you better get used to what you do have?   I’m not sure…… Someone asked me how I handle unclean bathrooms and hotels. I just do.  For the most part, they are not FILTHY.  But they are not American clean either.  And things break, and the power goes out..often.  You look past it and work around it, and if it’s that bad, you move to a new hotel.  But you have to be able to adjust.  It’s never going to be up to the same standards as you have back home, but you have to be expecting that coming in.  I recommend having no expectations or at least fewer expectations. It will soften the blow and often times leave you happily surprised with what you do receive.  But I digress. Now that I am back, everything looks so shiny and new and clean.  And I am not writing this to portray India, Sri Lanka, or Nepal as dirty, undesirable places; they are amazing countries – beautiful and with so much to offer.  But the differences in the little things is huge.

(Scenes from India, Sri Lanka, & Nepal…)

What is most shocking to me about all of this, is that I simply forgot.  And I’m not even home in America yet.  All I’ve done is land in Bangkok and I am already at a loss for words.  I felt this way a little bit when I returned home to America after my first Southeast Asia trip, but this is so much more profound.  Not profound enough, however, to make me not want to go back.  I love all three of these countries and I will be going back for sure.  It wasn’t hard for me to make the little adjustments that are necessary to live without complaining. As I said, you need to accept it, or I suppose you will be very unhappy.  Luckily for me, I did it without trying, and slowly forgot about the way things used to be.  And now that I am back in Thailand (in a place where I thought I was roughing it a year and a half ago!), I see how far that I have come and I am proud of myself for accepting a new way of life, embracing new cultures, making them my own, and respecting each one for what it is.  It’s not the same way that I grew up, but I was able to respect each culture and adapt.  So much so that I guess it became the norm for me.  I wasn’t expecting that, but this is just another great example of how travel will surprise you.  And change you.  I have so much respect for the Indian, Sri Lankan, and Nepalese people.  They are doing the best that they can with what they have.  Life is harder out there.  It’s poorer.  But people are happy.  I was happy.  SO happy.  In the end, these little amenities are not what matter.  They don’t make someone happy.  They definitely make things more convenient; but I have learned that I can live without a lot and be happier than I ever was before.  

So is it nice to be back?  To have all the “things?”  Sure.  It’s nice.  But I now know that it’s not necessary.  I can live without it.  And that makes me feel strong, understanding, and empathetic in a way that I never have before.  I appreciate so much more now, but really, it’s the people that I admire most.  Some of the most resilient people that I have ever met in my life, and that I am now proud to call friends, hail from these three beautiful countries.

(Friends from not only India, Sri Lanka, and Nepal, but also Israel, Slovakia, England, America, Australia, and more! It’s easy to not worry about toilets and lodging when you are having this much fun!)

I know that life can get hard for all of us.  And we can all get wrapped up in our own bubbles, and that is normal.  But I implore you to step outside your bubble at least once in a while.  You don’t have to spend 5 months in India (although I highly recommend it), but maybe explore a different area of your city, volunteer somewhere outside of your comfort zone, or just make a conscious effort to meet people that are different from you, and then come back and take a look at your life again. I think you will find that it’s really not so bad after all.

We’ve got it pretty good as far as conveniences are concerned. And whether you have the conveniences and modern amenities of life or not, it doesn’t really matter.  It’s the people that are around you that matter most.  Choose them wisely and they will change your world.  And then, maybe someday, you will enjoy a toilet seat and paper towel again; but it won’t even matter, because what really matters is the people waiting for you on the other side of that bathroom door…